in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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