She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
