ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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