I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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