so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
