is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
