hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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