I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
