Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
