YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
