I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like abortions should bother me more
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
