I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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