I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
