That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
