So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
