I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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