Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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