I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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