marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize