And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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