It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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