Pants 0. Shit 1.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize