We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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