I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need to align my fucking chakras
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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