Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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