my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
