Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
