guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
