No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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