Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
