i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize