nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
