just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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