u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
