Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
