I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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