so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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