i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
