Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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