Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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