he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
