I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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