i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
bring money and cleavage
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
