There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
