I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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