I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize