I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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