when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
