AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
