I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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