yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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