I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
