i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize