Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
