i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
