talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How naked do you want me to be?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
